I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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