Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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