I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize