I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This is the high leading the old right now
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
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