yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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