hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
