as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
