If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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