so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
