what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
