No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
