Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we're making bets on your personal life
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
