i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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