I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Damn victory sex feels great
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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