I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize