I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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