I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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