Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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