I can tuck mytits in my pants
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
