Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
and i looked up. we had an audience...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
