it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
