guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
