I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Define "chronic" masturbator.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize