I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
