remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We are two peas in an std pod
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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