Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
