Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my shit smells like andre
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
