happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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