Apparently you make a good broom.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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