THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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