The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
