we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
