Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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