tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
