I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Randomize
