Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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