She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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