They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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