she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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