"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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