Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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