Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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