look no pants
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
