Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We smell like vodka and hangover
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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