how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
