Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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