So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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