I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
