Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
