Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I love you. Go after that dick
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
