you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
