let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
