he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
