Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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