I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
