guys are not supposed to queef...right?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
