I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize