I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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