This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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