it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize