garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
