I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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